I can't leave. I have nowhere to go.
Sobs. Dry, broken ones that shake his entire body.
"Feli…I'm so sorry…" A gasping breath. "I never…It was never supposed to go this far, this was never supposed to happen…"
I say nothing because I have nothing to say. All those people, dead…
"Feli!" A shout. He removes his hands from his face, and those steely cold blues are burning red now. "You have to believe me! I never wanted this…"
Those steely blues, looking up at me with a helplessness that terrifies me.
"I believe you," I say. But I don't know if I do.
A sort of strangled sound in the back of his throat. He pulls me down to him, and now we're together on our knees. With a gasp he buries his face into my shirt and his body begins convulsing again with a new round of lamentations. Half of me wants to comfort him, and half is repulsed. The hands clutching at my clothes are still stained crimson. Almost all of him is bathed in that hideous scarlet…it makes bile rise in the back of my throat…
You're supposed to be stronger than me. You're supposed to be better than me.
"I didn't mean to…I didn't want to…"
But you can't bring them back, can you?